


Dragon Warrior? More like Fuck me in the Ass

by bugdaddy



Category: Kung Fu Panda - All Media Types
Genre: 2nd Degree Murder, Blood and Gore, Decapitation, Explicit Sexual Content, Gore, Graphic, Graphic Description of Corpses, Homicide, Multi, Murder, Mutilation, Mystery, lots of blood, planned murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 12:02:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11759442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugdaddy/pseuds/bugdaddy
Summary: A mystery that deeply angers Po comes about. How should he handle this?





	Dragon Warrior? More like Fuck me in the Ass

**Author's Note:**

> HI guys! this is our new SENSUAL fic, its new for us over here at hotwriters INC. hope you enjoy, but a little warning! there's some minor gore and major death in here!

Po held his knife in his big panda hands, looking at all his buddies merely 7 feet away.  
Today is the day, I will kill them all today. His buddies trembled before him in terror. They knew what they had done, and they were going to pay for it.

Po shoved Viper and the little mantis guy out of the way, trying to make it to the pantry first.  
“OK Po watch out, people are walking here lol” slithered Viper, she’s a snake.  
Po was about to respond when he saw that his FOOD was MISSING  
“WHo the FUCK ate all my FUCKING MAYO” None of his buddies responded. Po shouted “I’m gonna say it again, WHO. THE. FUCK. ATE. ALL. OF. MY. MAYO.” Still no response. Po stormed out of the room, pissed. The others just stared at each other.

THEY KNEW WHAT THEY HAD DONE, AND THEY WERE GOING TO PAY FOR IT. Po leaped forward to the best of his huge panda ability, and stomped the little mantis bitch into the dirt. After 7 seconds of merciless stomping, Po turned to the others, who looked on in fear and disgust. Po stared at the other four. “I’ll give you one more chance to confess, who ate my damn mayo?” They were all too horrified to speak. “Alright, if that’s how it’s gonna be then…” Po ran toward the crane, grasped onto his neck, and snapped it in half. The crane’s motionless body collapsed to the floor.  
Po made a show of ripping Crane’s head off of his neck, the little birdy beak covered in red. He threw the head at viper, the body part nearly crushing her.

“Po oh my fuCKING GOSH what are you DOING.” TIgress yelled from beside Crane’s lifeless, headless, corpse of a body. “NOne of us ATe your FUCKING MAYO.” Suddenly PO was before her, grabbing her arm and twisting it at a painful angle. TIgress giggles in pain, both her feet slipping on the dirt, dragging her and the panda down. “VIPER HELP”

The female snake woman was too occupied looking to crane’s head in silent horror, but at the sound of the tigress she was zooming on over. “I won’t hesitate, bitch” VIper slithered up PO’s oily body, curling herself around his throat. She tightened, and tightened, and tightened, until…

PO’s beefy fingers were grabbing at her head and Viper loosened her hold in an attempt to bite the panda, but he had other plans. His thumb pressed down on her head and his other hand was underneath her jaw, keeping her fangs in their confines. Po pushed the Vipers head to the ground and pulled out his knife. Po began slicing the snake into pieces like a sausage. Each cut made the snake shriek in pain, until he reacher just behind her head. Her screams ceased. Po grabbed one of the sliced off pieces and put it into his mouth. After he swallowed the piece of snake, he grinned at the monkey and blood oozed out of his mouth. The monkey fainted at the sight of what had just happened.

PO stood to his full height, looking down at tigress, whom was next to his legs, holding her arm with closed eyes. PO put his large panda foot on her throat, and took the rest of viper’s corpse in his big manly hands. Po wringed out the blood that was left in the chopped up bits of Viper’s corpse onto Tigress. Tigress screamed in disgust as she bathed in the blood of her dead friend. “This color looks beautiful on you, darling” said Po. The blood started leaking into Tigress’ eyes, blinding her.

TIgress kicked her legs out widly, landing a solid hit on PO’s large tummy. Po yelled in uncomfy, taking his knife from the ground and using it to cut into his own tummy.  
“Wait fuck wrong person”  
pO picked up tigress by the shoulder and threw her at the wall, viper’s blood whipping everywhere like iron-rich rain. TIgress hit the wall and fell to the floor, suddenly dead for no really good reason.  
Po then turned to the last buddy, MOnkey, who was unconsious on the dirt floor. Hhaha.  
PO stalked up to the mammal, and press his hand against the moneky’ shoulder, waking monkey with a coulpe shakes.  
The monkey woke up, his eyes wide with wideness. “WHat a crazy dream man haha omg.” PO nodded “indeed my little gay man. Po helped the monkey stand up and helped him out of the room, trying to keep him from looking at the bodies. Po makes monkey sit on the couch and then sits right next to him.  
“Monkey i am gay for you, and ONLY YOU, monkey. I love yu man.” PO wrapped monkey inot a hug, his knife suddenly in hand. MOnkey was so unaware, hahahaha.

Po jabbed the knife up under the base of monlkey’s skull, running it along his spine quickly, and monkey cried injapanese. Po cut his spinal cord and monkey slumped in his arms.

Three hours later…  
PO let the kindling take over the logs atop it, rising into a huge flame. He gather crane’s parts and threw them into the flame, along with tigress and viper’s slices. He looked, but couldn’t find mantis’s body in the Killing Room.

Last and certainly least, monkey was thrown in the fire as po shed tears of joy. Just minutes later Po had discovered his missing jar of mayo sitting in the very back of the pantry. Po was nost sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> like comment subcrives  
> c-a’s 2,3 co-author one is a thot


End file.
